Parents Are You Hindering Your Son's Performance?

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Parents -Are you hindering your son's performance?

This Article is brought to you by football agents / football intermediaries has been produced with the kind permission of Mr Michael Nichols

My son is just over one year old. He's learning to communicate and understands words and phrases to the extent he can find his teddy bear when asked; pretty cool I think for a one year old and as a new parent I'm proud of my teachings.

There is no doubt in my mind that everything I do for my son is done with the best intentions. In my eyes I do the right thing with my choices.

Parents of young footballers have a choice when standing on the sidelines, there are always choices but the choice made isn't always the best one.  You know what I'm talking about, the parent shouting and yelling with passion - 'kick it harder, get stuck in, what was that!' In their eyes and minds the choice to shout and yell comes from a good place and starts off as encouragement but as the game progresses and interactions occur and other parents catch their eye, a new emotion takes over and encouragement turns into wild shouts of desperation yet the parent, if asked will say they are doing what's best for their child.

Now, let's stop and take a different perspective because without perspective there is a false sense of reality.  Firstly there will be a coach. He will have a game plan and give your son as well as the sons of other parents, some instructions.  How do you think the coach will feel with you shouting from the sidelines?

Now look at the perspective from your son's angle.  He's got instructions from his coach but now he's hearing things from you. What if the two instructions are different?  What if you yell something then the coach yells something differently? He respects his coach and wants to impress the coach but you're his parent and he doesn't want to get in your bad books.  So what does he do? Simple - Your son will become confused through conflicting messages which leads to a reduction in performance.

For your son to be the best he can and have a chance of being noticed by the scouts and someone to give him the chance to take his game to the next level there's three simple things you can do as a parent.

1) Get on the side of his coach. 

Whether you like it or not someone is in charge of the team your son is playing on and that person has a duty to do the best they can for his own sake and the sake of the players.  If he's a genuine person with good intentions he won't purposely mess up but he will make mistakes, just as you do as a parent. When people make mistakes they don't need reminding of it!  A coach needs allies just as much as parents need positive feedback about their son.  Let me ask you this - imagine you're a coach. Which player would you give preference to, the one who's parent is a pushy shouty one often giving conflicting instructions to your player (their son) OR the one who's parent takes time to understand your philosophy and takes time to talk to you about how your player (their son) would like to play?

2) Stop shouting!

Really, stop it, it's annoying as hell and you'll give yourself a heart attack!  Shouting is only good for the person shouting as a release valve for their own frustrations, either because they didn't make it as a pro footballer and are now pushing their failed expectations onto their own child or the dreams of mega bucks, stardom and an early retirement are displayed in desperate behaviour.  Shouting is detrimental to the performance of your son because it becomes a distraction. Distractions take away their focus on the moment meaning their playing ability will suffer which you will see and then shout more as to why he isn't playing his best. Learn to observe and enjoy the moment.

3) Be realistic.

The percentage of young players who then make the professional level is very small.  Even the best junior players don't always make it.  I spoke with a young player who captained his club sides all through the junior ranks. In his mind he was expecting to sign a pro contract with one of the biggest clubs in England then WHAM! He was let go. No explanation, no apology, no pay cheque. Just a wave to a lower league club, a very lower league club.

The game at the junior level is cut throat so the best way to manage this reality is to encourage your son to be the best he can be, spend time and money on individual coaching or mental performance coaching if you want to but have a back up plan in mind and be sure to share this back up plan with your son.  As I said, there is a great chance he won't make it compared to the slim chance they will. Having this reality will allow your son to adjust into normal life with some degree of success rather then slipping into the abyss of the unknown that can lead to depression, family feuds and a broken dream.

Now the cool thing about being a parent is having your child respect and admire how you handle situations. Be that person they can be proud of because one day, they will become an adult and when that happens, you want a good relationship with them as they will be the ones looking out for you.

This Article is brought to you by football agents / football intermediaries has been produced with the kind permission of Mr Michael Nichols